Mommy Katie: Raising Well-Adjusted Children from Surrogacy

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Raising Well-Adjusted Children from Surrogacy

Mary has always dreamed of the American dream: great job, great love, marriage, a white picket fence and kids running around the house. Mary worked hard to earn for herself a dream job, later on met the love of her life and went to Bali for their honeymoon. Two years passed and the waiting game started… a baby would complete Mary’s American dream. She grew a beautiful garden to occupy her weekends or perfected the art of baking pies so that when Mary’s child would arrive, she was all set to put her mom game on.

A visit to the doctor confirmed her fears, Mary could not have a baby.

This crushed her dreams and it caused a lot of friction in her marriage. Why was this happening when everything was supposed to be perfect? The news crushed Mary so much; she fell into a deep hole. She was so consumed in her desire to build a family.

One day, she bumped into a friend who experienced the same thing… but the difference was, her friend had a baby carriage. So, could there be hope for her?

According to the CDC, over 6.7 million women, ages 15-44 have an impaired fecundity or ability to get pregnant and carry a baby to term. (CDC)

In the distant past, couples faced with infertility lost all hopes and accepted their fate. Today, that has changed a great deal. Like Mary’s friend, people have found alternative solutions to this predicament. Mary’s friend recommended that she try surrogacy or adoption.

There’s a lot of concern regarding these options mainly because it doesn’t follow the natural order of life or family planning. Surrogacy requires another woman to carry the child intended for another family. There are two main types of surrogacy: traditional or gestational.

Gestational surrogacy involves IVF(In-vitro fertilization) which means the child is genetically unrelated to the surrogate.

Traditional surrogacy involves natural or artificial insemination. This type involves the surrogate’s own eggs which would mean that the child is related to the surrogate but unrelated to the intended parents.

Today, there are about 9 children born to surrogates in every state annually. Some concerns relate to the adjustment of children born to surrogates that are attributed to the missing link during gestation between the intended mother and the child. However, studies have found that adjustment levels are normal and it does not present any issues concerning behavioral development. Then again, parenting is not just about genetics but being able to provide a safe and loving environment for the child.

The American Academy of Pediatrics said that Scientific evidence affirms that children have similar developmental and emotional needs…” which goes on to show that every child needs loving and capable parents who create an inclusive environment that paves the way to a well adjusted child.

With same sex marriage being given more careful consideration, family planning has also evolved as another way for different kinds of families to grow. For as long as a parent is capable of giving a child the kind of love and care every child needs, he or she will grow into a well-adjusted adult that is able to deal with life with a good perspective.

“Instead, of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let’s raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood.” - LR Knost

Written by Guest Contributor:
April Parker


Tamra Phelps said...

I understand that some women do look forward to actually being pregnant, but the actual goal is a child. It seems to me that having a child by surrogacy or adoption shouldn't be any different than giving birth to a child: you will love & raise that child as you would any child.

April Parker said...

That's exactly the overarching point I was trying to make Tamra! I'm happy to hear you agree, it appalls me to see women (or their children) looked down upon from for going through surrogacy.