Toby & Terry 31 Years Ago
I do not do a whole lot of personal posts, most of the personal things that come my way, I share on social networks so that family and friends can all be updated. Well, there is a big thing that has been building up since I met my husband, and for him, since he was just 4 years old. See my husband was adopted, in fact he and 3 of his biological siblings were all adopted by the same family. The thing is, when it comes to my husband’s biological siblings, his biological mom had 7 children all together.
|Top, Toby & Oldest Brother Travis
Bottom Left Michael & Eli, To the Right 5 Siblings, Eli, Travis, Toby, Bottom: Leah & Michael
Adoptive Mother Mary in middle of Toby & Travis
My husband was in the state system from the time he was 4 until he was 8, the reason why he is so passionate about social work and why he is pursuing his degree in the field. He went through a lot of things that no child should ever have to go through, abuses that can give most nightmares. When he was adopted, he was 8 years old, a age that is very hard for a lot of orphans to be adopted at. From there, when his biological mother would have a baby, his adoptive parents would be notified and they would then adopt the babies. In 1993, my husband’s biological mother passed away, this is also when his youngest sibling was adopted. Now, my husband had 3 other siblings, 2 older and one younger. His older brother, had also been put into the state system at the same time that my husband had. They were together until a couple of years before my husband was adopted. His adoptive parents tried to adopt the older brother, but due to his behavioral issues, they were not allowed to. The older brother ended up aging out of the foster care system. My husband’s adoptive parents had kept track of the older brother and in 2001, they met up for the first time since they were kids. After that meeting, they tried to keep in touch but lost contact until 2010, when we found him on Facebook and reconnected.
|My husband Toby on Left
Long Lost Brother Terry on Right
Now, there were still 2 other siblings that my husband had, who he had no contact with. An older sister, who was adopted when she was a baby, and a younger brother, who had been adopted by his biological grandparents at the time that my husband was put into state care. I have tried helping my husband locate these 2 siblings. When it comes to the older sister, we have not a clue on how to find her. We know her birth name, but that is all we have. As for the younger brother, we had sent letters to the address we had, as well as others that we came across, and every single one was sent back to us. We went on the different social networks numerous times over the years, and contacted men with the name we knew, who were about his brothers age, all to come to a dead end. My husband was a truck driver, and over the years he actually went to the area that we believed his brother lived, and he searched for him. It was not until late last night that our search for his long lost brother came to a end. We were at a friends house when we got a message on Facebook. When my husband came to me to show me the message, I right away got chills. We were at a loss for words. I told my husband that when we got home he needed to message him back. He did, in fact the two stayed up pretty late messaging back and forth. The last time these two brothers had had any kind of contact was when my husband was 4 years old and this brother was 2. There is so much the two missed over the years, so many things that his younger brother was told that is not all true about how they ended up where they did. They both have families now, I found last night that I not only have a new brother in law whom we had been searching for since we met, but I also have a new sister in law and 2 nieces. Well, that is where you come in. There are a few things that you, my readers, can do to help reunite these two brothers. First, there is still a sister out there. Her birth name is Robynee Cox, we know she was born to a Debrah Shelton. We believe she was born in Phoenix Arizona between the years 1970-1973. If you can help share this story, maybe we can locate her, the last of the siblings.
|Left: Sister Robynee w/ bio Mother Debbie
Right: Photo of Bio Mother Debbie Before She Passed Away in 1993
Now, there are other things that we need your help with. One thing behind the story of my husband and this long lost brother is, it is very possible the two share the same father. When they were separated, it was partially due to the suicide of his younger brothers father. It is believed that the father committed suicide after a fight with their biological mom, who in a heated argument, told their dad that my husband was not his son. The father was heartbroken and took his life after being told this, and he said in his suicide note that he killed himself because of this. That is when the grandparents went to adopt the younger brother, and because they blamed my husband for the suicide of their son, and because they were not sure if he was their grandson, they wanted nothing to do with him. It was said that their mom said that the dad was in fact my husbands dad, but none of his younger brothers family would answer questions, or even reply to anything we sent. My husband and his brother want answers, which many can not be answered due to the fact that both their biological mother and father have both passed away. Also, the man who might have had many answers for them, the grandfather, has also passed, taking many secrets to the grave. So, we have looked into getting a DNA test, which costs a lot of money. Another thing is, we would like to reunite these brothers after 31 years. My husband and I are in Texas and his brother is in Ohio. With my husband in school, well, we do not have the means to get him a ticket to see his brother. His brother’s wife is also in school, and their situation is similar. So I am going to help my husband and his brother by reaching out to you. We would like to raise money to help get one of them a plane ticket, or even one of the families if possible so we can all meet, but at least for one brother. The second item is, we would like to be able to get the brothers a paternity test, to see if they share the same father. And if you can not help financially, we would like to ask that you share this story, in hopes that we can locate the older sister. To help, we do not know if she knows about all of the siblings, but here is some info on names in order from oldest sibling to youngest:
Robynee Cox born 1970-1973 in Phoenix Arizona
Travis Rosette born 1975 living in San Francisco, Ca
Toby Sexton born 1978 living in Amarillo, TX
Terry Miller born 1980 living in Boardman, Oh
Eli Sexton born 1988 living in San Diego, Ca
Michael Sexton born 1989 living in San Diego County area, Ca
Leah Sexton born 1993 living in Amarillo, TX
Very Touching story
We lived in Amarillo,TX from 1983 to 1993. I'll have to ask my oldest son if he knew any of the names in this touching story.
What a story. I think you need to contact the Steve Harvey show or some network news station. Have them tell your story and all your money problems could be solved. Plane tickets donated and also having the paternity test donated could be a possibility. Keep us posted.
I forgot what show I use to watch now but remember one of the talk shows you can send this information to and they can help reunite lost loved ones. i'm sure they could also help in the cost of the paternity testing as well, just to be on their show. I was trying to do a quick search just now Katie and found this. Not sure if it will help at all or not but I think maybe if you wrote to them, it couldn't hurt and I think they could help you out.Here is the link: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/565 I hope it helps and the family can all be reunited
While I'm not adopted, I've been trying to find out who my grandfather is (my father was born to an unwed mom) and if I have aunts/uncles/cousins. It's very difficult to search when you have little information to go on, and especially if you're doing an international search (my dad was born in Spain). Best of luck to your husband!
Wow what a crazy story. I am glad your husband has been able to find his siblings. I wish I had the means to help you. It is a tough time for me and my family at the moment. I will share your post to get the word out.
Wow. Am I right that you are in Amarillo? I am in St Louis. Looking at a map, it seems to be something like a 22 hour drive with St Louis almost exactly in the middle. ((My daughter just drove up from Austin in one day, about 12-13 hours.) If someone needed to make the drive either way, I can offer dinner (even if it's late), a bed, breakfast (even if it's early), and a lunch to take with. It's just Hubz and me at home so few worries about scheduling. I have followed your blog for a couple…maybe 3…years. I don't do a lot of commenting, but I don't feel like a stranger out of the blue either. This is an open offer for anytime, and I would love to do this. bethelderton59 at gmail dot com Seriously…any time
as far as Amarillo, that is where my husband and I live, he was born in either Phoenix or San Diego, not sure due to his birth certificate not being able to be viewed by us. We think all of the siblings were born in the same area as well. My husband and the 3 youngest have the same last name due to be adopted, but his and the younger brothers birth name was Miller, the other siblings also had different last names at birth as well.
Thank you Beth, we will be keeping that in mind. We are working on schedules and trying to come up with a way for the brothers to meet. Ultimately, we would like for all 7 siblings to meet, but that will probably be a ways down the road since we still need to find the oldest sister. We really appreciate the shares, if we can find Robynee through the story, that would be amazing since none of the siblings know her or where to start on finding her.
Also, we have contacted some shows, both my new sister in law and I, fingers crossed, because that might be the answer we need to getting all of the answers like paternity and finding the sister
Katie, I went to high school with some Sextons. I can ask them if they might recognize any of the names on the list.
What an amazing and emotional story!
The show the lady commented on earlier is called "The Locator" and the guy's name is Troy Dunn. He does "angel cases" which means for free. On the show, I see where people submit video tapes to them talking about their situation. I hear his mother is truly the one who finds the cases. She was an adoptee herself who asked her son, Troy, to find her birth parents and that is how he started. Hope this helps.
What a very touching story, I enjoyed reading the journey so far!
thank you for sharing with us.just an amazing and emotional story.god bless you. *hugs*